Ashes to Ashes

I have two co-workers, 60ish brothers, who tell the most wonderful, twisted tales from their very unusual, eccentric growing up years. They are two of five brothers who apparently had one crazy adventure after another while growing up including their college years. Their Mother must have had the patience of a Saint! They weren't bad boys, just very mischievous in very clever and witty ways. I have known these two guys and their wives for 20+ years and the wives say that even now, in their early 60's, every Christmas is just hysterical with each brother trying to outdo the others with the funniest/cleverest/wittiest gifts. I wish someone in the family would write a book....I'd be the first one in line to buy it!



Sadly, one of the Brothers passed away about 2 years ago. His ashes have now been divided up among the other Four, and I'm now hearing tales of what each one is planning to do with "Brother", and how it will be done.....for instance, "Brother" loved the movie "The Great Escape"....do you remember it? Remember what the prisoners did with the dirt they removed from the tunnel???....Yep! that's right! (it had to do with a few spoonfuls at a time in the cuffs of their pants...) I'm quite sure "Brother" would be both pleased and proud of all the plans presently being made on his behalf. Talk about carrying on family traditions!



Anyway, all of this has gotten me thinking about what I would like my family to do with "me" someday when the time comes. Why not put my blog to good use and put my final wishes in writing for my kids? At least they can't say they didn't know what I wanted....you'll all be my witnesses!


Dear 3 Children Of Mine:
I know I've sort of mentioned a version of this before, but I've seen the eye rolling and weird faces so I know you haven't taken me seriously (as usual!). Therefore, please take notice of what I'm about to tell you here and I really and truly mean it, so pay attention!!

1. Cremation, please

2. NO FUNERAL!! A fun and happy party/memorial with lots of food where you can make fun of me all you want since I won't be there to hear it, would be just fine. And if you use any photos, just make sure you use pictures that make me look thin, OK? (I hear photoshop is really good...)

3. Divide up my ashes between you 3 and all the Grandkids. And since I hope to be around for at LEAST 30 more years, I could possibly have teenage GREAT-Grandkids by then, so I'm thinking those little snack-size ziplocks should probably be just about right.

4. Each person should pick out some kind of tree to plant in their yard and sprinkle my ashes in the hole before planting it. Then everyone will have a "MIMI" tree to remember me by. My preference would be some kind of fruit tree, maybe apricot or nectarine, or something that blooms with flowers, but I guess I'll leave that up to each one of you.

....And that's it! See, that wasn't so bad was it? (quit laughing Josh)

And if any of you 3 are really laughing at me I promise you I'll drop all my leaves as often as possible so you'll have lots of raking to remember me by!!#*&$#!